Sex Talk

Anonymous asked: So my boyfriend has a really weird fetish and I don't know how to approach it, is there any chance that you could help me with some things that might turn him on?

Long story short: No. For a few reasons, A. No fetishes are weird, they’re just less common than others. B. You don’t tell me what the fetish is, if you’ll leave me another message telling me what the fetish is I’ll do my best. C. Even if you do, there’s not much I’ll be able to tell you, depending on the fetish I’ll be able to help with instructions (maybe… if it’s scat porn I can’t help you, I get too many  traumatizing flashbacks involving 2 girls 1 cup….). In the end though only your boyfriend can really tell you what turns him on. Ask him, have him tell you some things you can do to help, or show you some porn that does it for him.

Now, one last note before I go, your boyfriend should feel incredibly blessed, and good on you for looking on your own for what you can do. There’s not a lot of people that would do that, most of them go “EEK! WEIRD FETISH!” and run for the hills.

Anonymous asked: I wanted to buy a sex toy, but I'm not really sure where to start... Any advice?

Well this is a very broad question, however… I LOVE TALKING ABOUT SEX TOYS! So let’s get started, first I’m not sure what you’re looking for, or what you’ve got going on between you’re legs. Most simple toys tend to be phallic and seeing as 5/8 of the relationship world tends to be interested in these toys let’s talk about that. Toys come in (and these aren’t the ONLY materials, but they are predominant) four major materials. Plastic, rubber, silicone, and stainless steel. Now, the cheaper ones are generally plastic and rubber, these are good for first timers, but need a lot more care as cleaning is more difficult. Plastic is simple but cleaning is more intensive as things like to cling to it more, rubber is more porous so it needs to be cleaned a lot, or for safety put it in a condom. Now, silicon and stainless steel tend to be more expensive but much easier to maintain, I mean hell silicon toys can sometimes be put through the dishwasher, stainless steel shouldn’t be but if you feel the need, don’t.

FYI: Sharing toys isn’t always bad, but isn’t a great idea without first cleaning it, especially rubber. The bacteria in one person’s vagina/anus isn’t necessarily going to be healthy in someone else’s vagina/anus. For those couples who have been together for a long time and don’t use condoms and have swapped fluids it’s not as big a risk but the risk is still there. Be careful.

Also, feel free to check out www.bad-dragon.com and it’s toys because it weirds me out and I think everyone should be exposed to new and strange stuff.

Anonymous asked: How do I approach adding a third person to my relationship? I'm not looking for a one-time threesome, I'm hoping to find a long-standing third person into my relationship. I know this isn't really a sex related question, but any adivce?

Well first you have to examine you reasons for wanting someone else. If it’s just for sex that’s one thing but if you think it’s time to end the relationship that’s something else entirely. If it is because you guys want a spiced up sex life then you guys need to talk about what kind of person you’d like and the wait until you’ve found someone you both like, ‘cause no one wants to fuck someone that they don’t like but their other half does, it leads to jealousy, and to quote the narcoleptic argentinian, “jealousy will drive you mad.”

Once you’ve settled on someone you both are comfortable with that person should become a sex toy, like a dildo or a fleshlight with a body attached to it; at least in the bedroom, outside the bedroom they should be treated like a person. They need to know that if they start causing problems between the two of you they’ll be removed from the relationship. 

I don’t know all the details but I hope this helps.

Tips on a Good Booty Call

These days booty calls are pretty common, and it’s important on both ends to do your part if you’re interested in a gold star by your name in that little black book. I’m no expert, well, I am but I don’t have a degree (badum tish!), but here’s a few tips that I personally find helpful.

1. Know What You Want
   This is the most important thing about booty calls, know what you’re looking for. Are you just looking for a fuck? Are you looking for a little pillow talk after? Kinky sex? Quickie? Rough sex? Hate sex?
   This list goes forever but my point is, don’t call the romantic guy for hate sex, and don’t call the ex you hate but keep in your phone book because he’s rough in bed even though you can’t have a conversation without coming to blows. If you want a slow gentle fuck, you know who you can call and who you can’t, so don’t call someone who can’t give you what you want.
2. The Clothes Make the Call
   Clothes are just clothes, but depending on who you are in the call depends on how much effort you should put into selection, because yes both sides need to put in effort. 

• Guys calling guys:
  If you’re a bottom calling a top to come fuck you, make it look like you need his dick, personally there are few things I enjoy more than when I get called to fuck a guy then when I finally slide my hands down to his ass to find a jock. Gives easy access, and that’s my favorite thing about them. If you’re a top calling for someone to come worship your cock, while underwear isn’t as much a difficult choice for you (because likely they won’t be on long), but maybe a nice cock ring, or open the door with a raging hard on if you’re that kind of guy. 
• Women calling Men:
  Now, while you won’t have much work ahead of you because men think about sex every 9 seconds or so (Don’t quote me on those numbers), but there’s still things to be done. Men typically aren’t going to notice if you’ve got six tons of make up on, or if you took four hours to do your hair. Run a brush through it, put on the bare minimum of make up that you need to feel like a sex goddess, because in this situation that’s what you are, and carefully pull on you sexiest lingerie.
• Men calling women
  This requires an assload of work from you. Because inevitably you’re going to make a promise as a joke and since it was by text she’ll come over expecting that dinner, and your ‘pepperoni’ meal won’t really be a good substitute most times. Make sure your place is clean, no woman wants to fuck a pig. Also, make sure she’s enjoying it as much as you. You have a penis, touch it and it feels good. Women have a rubix cube, and not everyone’s got that pattern memorized. Also, for the love of god if you get off and she’s shaking and you didn’t sense or hear an orgasm happen, GO BACK, STOP BEING SELFISH, AND FINISH!
• Women calling women
  Ok, this entire section is a long shot because I can only talk for the male end of things. Cleanliness is next to holiness, for you, your intended booty-space and your toys. A lot of people underestimate the importance of toy cleanliness. Don’t let that be you. 

There are a thousand things you could do to help and this list could go on and on but I only have so much space before you stop reading, so if you need more advice, there’s an ask box. 

Bisexuality as a minority.

So I recently saw a post someone made saying that being gay is harder than being bisexual because bisexuality is socially more acceptable. Instead of anonymously being immature and anonymously hating their blog I decided to blog a response instead.

Bisexuality (from a white male’s perspective), is a minority within a minority. Yeah, it’s socially acceptable for me to go out with a woman on my arm, until I drop her off with her boyfriend, squeeze his ass playfully, and then grind on some guy on the dance floor. We just don’t fit in, men are afraid I’ll leave them for a woman because it’s ‘easier to cope’ and then women are afraid I’ll leave them for a man because they feel like I’m missing on something they can’t provide to me. My professional gay acquaintances won’t become too good friends with me because I still have sex with women and they’re completely opposed to female-kind in general, and my straight female friends won’t get that close to me because they just find me confusing.
Thankfully I have a handful of incredibly open-minded friends who do, but my family is a completely different story.
When I was still confused in middle school and told my parents I was gay, they were a bit upset (not visibly because they didn’t understand but knew it wasn’t a choice), however when the subject of my sexual ambiguity came up and I expressed the possibility of being bisexual. My father lost it, went crazy, screamed a lot, pushed me down so hard I went sliding down my (admittedly short) hallway into my door. I left and didn’t come home for the night.

My sister once explained it (in a rather plagiarized way) that if I have the choice why would I make the wrong choice?

Now I’ve never heard of a bisexual bar, a bisexual activist, someone fighting for bisexual rights, or bisexual travel destinations. We don’t really have anywhere that we can go to talk about being bisexual and it’s harder to identify bisexuals by appearance than gay men and women, or straight men and women. It’s just easier for homosexuals to look over a room and identify with people that are like them and can know that they’re not alone. I’m not saying that being gay is more difficult than being bisexual it’s at least the same. Gays face discrimination and teasing from the straight community and the church. Bisexuals get it from both monosexual sides, cut us some slack.

If you want to have better sex….

TALK TO THE PERSON YOU’RE FUCKING ABOUT IT!
My god the number of people who let someone fumble around their partner’s nethers and don’t say “Hey that’s bad…” or “Hey that’s actually really good” is retarded high. It’s sex, you can talk about it, and as long as you’re not an asshole/bitch about it in the way you talk about it. You could potentially have some really good sex.
Don’t go looking for someone else to teach you something so you can go and use it on whoever it is you’re fucking. You’re degrading the person you’re asking to learn from, and hey there’s that important clause in your usual relationships dealing with monogamy that you’re breaking. If you’re interested in trying something new, you can ASK someone to tell you about it and know, in theory at least, what you’re doing. As soon as someone hears “fetish model” the conversation makes it’s way around the conversational map from their current sex, to curiosities about things to requests for demonstration to  ”Can we get together sometime so you can teach me?” which is typically a request for sex.
For some reason the curious deviant in people looks at what I did and assumes that sex with me is phenomenal . Which is not always the case. You think that I beat people because I get some kind of dom-side pleasure from it? (I sometimes do but on the norm if you’re not someone I’m into it’s just kind of… Meh…) All I want to do is go through the motions, get off, and have you get the fuck out. I’m not the relationship type but I respect those of you that are and hope it’s great for you. For those of you that are those people who want to learn something new in the bedroom, experimenting with someone is not the right way to do it. That’s cheating no matter how you want to color it. Talk to your partner, and then you can go ask someone about it if it’s such a problem.

I’m losing my angry steam as tends to happen when I rant. I’m about done here… Have a good night, hope your sex is great. If it’s not. GO TALK ABOUT WHY!

(Source: fireinthefadingmoon, via fuckyeahfet)